“Sugar, get me water please”. She hands over her mug she drinks fluids from to me. I graciously and quickly get her water from the dispenser.

Now this is it. Between walking from dispenser which is about 8 seconds walk and delivering water in mug to her, my attempt to close mug tightly using lid and with me finding means of ensuring there is not a droplet of water and stain around the mug by cleaning before I hand it over to her, i hear a word…

I hear👂: “Perfectionist. It is Fine” Yes! My boss then said that to me😊 In my ‘head’, I am like Wow…I am?

I only smiled and giggled.

First time and up close hearing something so definite about who I “may be or am” which is odd and not the usual descriptions ie: ‘ you work hard, you speak well and intelligent’ I hear.

Coming from a workaholic and soft skills coach of a boss, i truly liked what I heard.

This was one of the many genuine compliments I received from people like her who were well exposed, disciplined, successful and kind individuals.

These and more coupled with that personal decision to be better each day shaped me even more when I started corporate life.😊😉

Two things: I got to know who I was in that regard or probably got a confirmation by what she said.

It also brought about the realization that the little things I do and how I carry myself about are usually geared towards ‘Perfectionism’, which I did not know or perhaps have not thought of.

This is what others see. And for that, I was glad it was not just anyone at all but a key individual in my life then that mentioned that to my hearing.

I am certain this adjective of a ‘Perfectionist’ which I took as compliment was birth as a result of her watching me closely. My Activities, inactions and how I handle situations. Rule No. 1: ‘Always remember People are watching’ 👀 Be Intentional! Not sure i am conscious of this rule though but, let us say after today, i will intensify my consciousness to it.😊

A very smart, hardworking, discerning, disciplined and loving woman. Aunty Mary, a name we affectionately call her with and Effie Graham are two special people in my life. My road to Corporate and Professional life… Aunty Effie is my heart ❤ She is affable, intelligent, hardworking, patient and kind yet firm. Also a discerning individual who seldom utters words unless necessary. These two had unique personalities that made an office a home🏡 And hey, they had great effect on me. Foundation is everything.

And oww, ‘did I mention Mary Dei Sarpong is hard to please’? Aunty Mary in my opinion is not the easy to please or deceive kinda boss. You should be doing a 200% for her to recognize you and your effort. And attitude to her is Everything as well. I stand to be corrected but that is my opinion. Don’t get is twisted…She was the sweetest and kind as well… She only had standards. Yet she will applaud a 10, 50, 100 percent depending on the situation. I didn’t see her trying to bring anybody down or downplay anyone whether you please her, are a star performer or not. She will treat you well. She uplifts others regardless!😊 I was used to her talking to me with love. And she always address you with pet names like; sugar, love, darling. Yes. She would have spoilt me if I didn’t leave her side because truth is, corporate life isn’t that ‘lovey dovey’ 80% of the time…Lol

In my other world of work and an instance I witnessed, I was assigned a task. I executed it and life went on. Months later, I was told “Tina doesn’t just do her work anyhow. She does it very well and very detailed for that matter”! Say what?😳👂How am I able to impress people who are difficult to please? Allow me to “blow” them horns…Hooha! Your girl has come a long way!👧

I appreciated my relationship with Aunt Mary and Effie better when i became a manager some years ago. As a young manager, without a blink, i could tell who is hardworking, smart, Intelligent, outspoken, kind, respectful, well mannered, who is true,deceptive but to mention a few. I always wondered how Aunt Mary saw certain characteristics and traits easily dealing with me within a very short time. She started paying me compliments early stages of knowing me. I thought she needed to take her time to know me because truth is, people pretend a lot. What if I was deceiving her? 😕

There was this time and period of my life and career I was struggling with what anyone thought of me and my work. My focus was on Perfectionism instead of Progress…I wanted to be seen as I do things perfectly rather than being honest with my self on progress of work,attitude towards work and myself….”Honey, Perfectionism is Boring. Just Do Life, make mistakes & Learn”! Once you stay true to yourself, so many things will evolve in the right direction first to you which will adversely affect others and your society. Yasss! 🤔

What are you weary and worried about?. Process, Progress or Perfectionism? While personal development and self love is great, immense focus on it other than process of living can be damaging.

Let’s read what Google says about Perfectionism from Psychologytoday.com….

“Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. When healthy, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness.

In psychology, perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by “a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.” To a perfectionist, anything that’s less than perfect is” …

You know what? As always Perspectives are different so are temperaments and personalities. Then to intentions and motives. About 💯 percent of the time, people are looking out for their personal interest and not the good of a subject and that is okay.

What are you trying to impress others or specific person with? I realised that, a lot of people are not true to themselves. As ‘actors’, we do what others will love to see and not what is right and we do not show who we really are. ‘I am no different’. Life is more beautiful when we don’t focus on being perfect but enjoy an everyday process of living. Perfectionism keeps us waiting indefinitely. It is stress and it can be draining.

“If you fake it, you get tired and frustrated easily”. That is not to say if you are original you will not be tired or feel frustrated at some point. You will. However, you will enjoy it.🥰 You will love it and find varied ways to enjoy it each time… Originality is Enjoyable. It can be attributed to a Passionate state. So we hear things like someone is Passionate about what they do…Originality is span from Passion. Imagine i do not love kids but i pretend i love kids to impress the person associated with kids. Then I get tasked to watch over these kids everytime….You have an answer or idea what will happen?…Yes you do.😊

That is how it is when we deem it fit to attain a Perfectionist status instead of a Progressive and Original status. I read recently on one of my favourite boss’ and person’ status “You don’t need to be Perfect, be Honest” This thing has not left me…Keeps ringing. The reminder makes me want to more than ever,be myself and enjoy life. What are you reminding yourself daily with?

What time do you term Perfect to start that dream project, to be kind and to impact or influence just a person daily? Why don’t you want to start something small but hoping everything will come together Perfectly before you begin? Do you waste so much time to hit a Perfect state instead of making mistakes to Perfect? We have things that can be done Perfectly however, Perspectives are different so are Processes and Progress. Perfectionism isn’t a Bad thing to want to attain and being a Perfectionist is not a negative state to be in. It is Huge & Big. However,the focus is not to be Perfect so for now, enjoy your struggles, make mistakes, learn and you will be amazed the Strides.

While extreme Perfectionism is toxic causing fear and anxieties, the Bible talks about Perfect love casting out fear. So what do we do? We gotta love every season we are in, embrace the process and work towards being the best we can each day. 1 John 4:18 says: There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Life is beautiful & simple.

Stay Original & Honest!

Never Give Up!!!

***adjwoa adubia amponsah*** 03.08.2020

My heart feels heavy with an unexplainable gratitude.

The feeling of wholeness. Freedom. Victory. Joy and an undeniable Peace.

This Peace can be well understood if experienced!

I am not sure I can explain this Peace but will make sure I articulate it in a manner you will be able to understand, appreciate or relate if you have been there before.

Experiencing same or yet to experience? You will appreciate God’s backing and presence in your life and situation with this kind of Peace…

This Peace I am experiencing now gladdens my heart. It is an evidence of who God is in Real life, in my life and what I hear others say about him.

From my grandmom, mama, friends, family, preachers and people who love him.

The more I keep quiet, the higher its effect in my spirit, hence penning it today.

This Peace causes me to be hyper within. I mean…

How would you call it when you are feeling uncomfortable, in a state of unrest, confusion yet you are basking in Peace?

It is simple!. The Presence of God can be the only explanation and reason for this.

Where his Glory ligtens every dark part, patches every hole and brightens a mood and thought regardless of season. The serenity…

My blog post seek to address lifestyle, purpose and the process that manifest the purpose-Life. That is what i set out to do.

But God, when he gives you something, he has a way of taking charge of it for it to flow in a manner that resonates with his purpose and reason he put that in your heart.

Frankly, I am at a stage of life where I am unable to finish a narration, story, statement, or speech without the mention of God. Ever dependable companion! A Father and a  Friend.

And so, though I intend talking about many things life and style related, I can’t help but spew everything God.

Now, let me narrate to you a story I have already shared but a summary to aid you in comprehending how this peace I feel works.

In mid-2019, God came alive in the most unexplainable and distinct manner in my life. After a crisis which began late 2018 but heightened early 2019, just before the heat of it, in December 2018, I was privileged to get an important individual I had started enjoying conversations with tell me this; “Girl, you gotta be Light”!

Where light means; let go anything that weighs you down. Troubles, hurdles, difficulties, hurt, pain, confusion…Just anything. Life is not that serious. Take it easy. Take things a step at a time, for that matter. That is the meaning I deduced from that convo.

‘A young lady who is quite careful about everything she does, serious, calculative and love attaching a measure of detail and a sense perfectionism to all she does’…Now experienced a sense of being discredited by another person deliberately, someone who was supposed to be bigger and better than me.😊

As a lady who was evolving, i appreciated ome speaking in a right language. Every human has language they comprehend better.

We only need to learn how to speak to ourselves, different people, and be cordial in languages they understand.

Some understand the language of respect, love, sincerity and honesty. Others, vice versa. And even so, some would prefer non verbal to verbal.

And there is a No language at all for another crop of people. It all works. Which one are you?

Whatever language you understand, if the right note is touched, the speaker earns listeners, admirers and loyalists, just as the listener.

I believe in people and I appreciate strengths.

I see weak areas of others, but I am never delighted to talk about them or expose them in a negative manner. Experience has even made me mastered that art.

I prefer to speak on strength and I am sure you do sometimes.

So while my trust for people can be worrying because I didn’t used to leave room for doubt or mistrust, someone or a group of people took advantage of it by fabricating lies which appeared true with headlines and tags early 2019. This was after many plots in late 2018- I smile now.😊

When i realised the depth and magnitude, I was broken! Confused. Sad. However, you CANNOT break a spirit related to God or use things against that person which are untrue. It will not stand neither will it last. That was how mine ended.

“After all this, I was wallowing in self pity and doubt. Mistrust for my capabilities, attitude and personality. I thought to myself the damage done me with those fabrications were huge i could not rectify and defend myself”. I was too concerned not realizing they were mere experiences i had to learn and grow through even though they were grave. As an overthinker sometimes, i was concerned about what others thought of me rather than who I really am.😊

May be you do that to yourself or you are even worried what anyone thinks or is saying about you right now as you read this….I have been there before and it hits me sometimes. Let it Go. It Won’t Stand. Be You!

While I am doing life, I am intentional. Intentional attitude, “what to do and what not . Who to speak with and who not to. What to say and what not to say, what to wear and what not. Even what to eat.😊

Yes! I can be extra which i learnt it was okay and a way to take care of me. Later noticed there are others who are even more than me in that regard. It is not a wonder I see self Progression in many areas of my life, especially the intangibles, earning me compliments like I am Proud of the Woman that you are and becoming. You see strength and and resilience when you see Me!

I am no saint! I have flaws. However, I learnt to be honest with myself and not try to be Perfect.

So, while we may concentrate on trying to defend ourselves or make ourselves look better or good, we work on weak areas.

A step at a time, i ensured i worked towards things that made me stronger and elicited who I really am. It’s still a work in progress….What are you working on? Or are you crying?

Work it out! You Got This.

Life is really not about people but You! You may hear this many times…Keep at it. So be Happy!

And you have to be Intentional. Intentional with Everything you do.

Appreciate the little things about you. Your little wins like being more open-minded instead of angry or hurt at people and about a situation respectively, you begin to feel Light and Peaceful.

God magnifies the little things and adds extra ordinary dose of Peace and Light which Sparks and Shines to your already ‘light’ self and spirit. He fights your battles for you in the most unique way…

And while I understand that, all these we go through and experience are necessary for us to move on with life, each one of us have different ways and challenges we encounter.

Over time, it cannot be overemphasized that, when you are different, successful, disciplined and won’t succum to the norms everyone succums to, there will be backlashes like what I went through.

Yours may come in another form. Even worse!. Be assured that you are on the right path and Winning! It won’t Last, don’t stay Miserable.

How do you see you have this Peace and how do you tell God fights these battles?

Evidence of daily and future activities.

Predominant is your composure amidst the storm. How you feel and react to situations.

Someone said to me: “You have arrived” when I narrated specific instances and my reaction then to now. And I smiled because I know and have been told to anticipate there will be More in the Future… But what will I do and how will I handle it?

The fabrications may be much but who you truly are cannot be lied about completely. Time and situations will vindicate you.

I wanted answers but never got one…Not every one in life will mean well in life and that is okay.

The universe if not God will make you Win because of your heart and who you really are.

Till today, even as I text, I have so much on my mind and a bucket list on my To do list But this Peace won’t leave me. It was only a decision away. I decided to be light.

Never Give Up! Lighten up Queen. You Got it King! And whoever you are, you are Enough.

When things get heavy, even in this season what do you do?

Let me recommend a few…

Do music, listen to uplifting podcast, read, check lifestyle- eat well, sleep well, exercise, speak to someone who has your interest at heart ❤. One who does not require others validation to move to appreciate you.

Akso, Pray.!

To add to it, one red flag 🚩 to look out for is people who are always finding fault or speaking ill of others. Please avoid such people and instances.

Positive energy is Everything! It is infectious same as Negative.

The more you hang around negative people, the more you will not appreciate people and life.

Life will teach you how to see some of these situations. Pay attention to everyday instances and roll with lessons accordingly.

Incase you do not know how to get Light, ask God to help.

Let go anything that robs you of your Peace and tell him you want to have Peace as well as the desire to be light. Viola!. You will get it.

Matthew 7:7 admonishes us to Ask and we will receive. Whatever we ask God, he will give us. Philippians 4:7 also states that: “The peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind as you live in Christ Jesus “!🥰

Let’s keep at Winning Together!

Enjoy Peace.

***adjwoa adubia amponsah*** 02.08.2020

In my many years of living as a young lady, I have seen life come with experiences in diverse ways. Change whether pleasant or not happen in many ways. I have equally seen life deal with others in rather uncomprehending manner.

For some, it is usually painful. Experiences such as rejection, betrayal, loss of loved ones, divorce, loss of asset, being ripped off integrity and disappointment.

Is it education, family issues, finances, jobs or careers, that business, relationships, marriages, fruit of the womb or increase. However challenging these moments may be such that you do not have comfort, clarity of thought, purpose or peace on such pertinent issues, remember what our father Above’s promises says. “I will Never leave thee nor forsake thee”.

His presence in every situation or storm is what is important. With him in there, there is that peace amidst difficulty. Relief comes easy and you are able to soldier on. I know it can be tough. Difficult to take, confusing, heartbreaking, pain that is excruciating, standstill and all the other horrible, heart wrenching and painful life situations and issues. But, his word makes us understand and know that, we are all Victorious in Christ Jesus.

All we need is resilience and tenacity. With gut, then we remember his word in Numbers 23:19 which states that, God is not a man that he should lie, neither is he a son of man that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act, does he promise and not fulfil, I have received a command to bless. He has blessed and I cannot change it”. If he promised you he will fulfil every promise. Never will he leave thee nor forsake thee. Why do you want to be in unbelief and make him a liar? Changing what he says is never his trait. Why? do you now rest on another word of emotion or permit fear take over his promise of you being Victorious in Christ Jesus? Let what Victory he has for you take effect by Trusting. He will not Lie. Only Believe.

Being in him(Jesus), knowing him, trusting him and his word and above all, loving him means there is No word like Losing or Losing It.We are Conquerors!

No matter the storm or situation, remember that Promise he has about your life will come to pass. “You will be that Great Man, that Distinguished Woman, you will Build that House, THE Project will Take off and will be the Best Ever. That Marriage will come on. Your Elevations and Growth will come speedily without a Doubt. You Shall be a Household Name like Oprah Winfrey, Bishop Jakes and co”. The Lord will settle You.

What you should know is, your current state is your Mountain, your Test which you need to fight through him in Prayer to propel you into your Next Bigger Level. Ask him what he is teaching you other than why am I going through this Lord. Perspective is necessary here!!! How you see situation, choice of words and how you will handle it.

One thing that is astounding is, whatever God has said about you will come to pass. He will do every single thing he said he will. He will accomplish the big, biggest, not so big, and little things. His word says you are blessed and favored. You are great and nations will come to you. You are a royal priesthood and a Holy Nation. You are Successful. You are Awesome. You are a World changer and a Game changer.

Remember, he will Never leave thee nor forsake thee and he is not Man that he should Lie.

Never Give Up!  

 *adjwoa adubia amponsah*

04.04.19 @ about 10pm